This poem is from my travels working on farms around Europe in June/July 2019.
when weeding around plants
it is important to pull the roots out too
so the weeds don’t grow back,
and you can leave space for your beautiful garden
they make a satisfying
as you pull them out completely.
don’t forget to admire your handy-work
holding your conquest out in front of you.
especially those ones you have fought with
pulled and twisted them in different directions,
careful not to pull too hard,
feeling that moment of victory
as you pull them out the ground
looking at their long-winding roots
wondering how deep they must have dug themselves,
how long it took for them to grow.
but be careful,
try not to pull too hard,
especially the ones stuck deep,
otherwise they will “snap”
leaving parts of themselves dormant
only to come back again.
this can be especially frustrating
when you hear the
with a slight “snap”.
did you pull them out completely?
digging furiously in the ground
hoping to find the stem to pull again.
maybe the roots are lost
only to reappear again in a few weeks’ time.
is it cheesy of me
to see the resemblance to myself amongst the weeds?
how taking care to clear a garden
takes constant work
to ensure everything is growing as it should.
how sometimes I think
I’ve found the root of my insecurities, my trauma
followed by that “pop” of realization,
thinking I have pulled them out completely.
yet sometime later, the weeds begin to grow again
and once more I am faced
with old versions of self
spinning circles around me.
I should be careful when clearing my garden,
when tending to my weeds.
keep checking that old habits, old ways of thinking
haven’t become overgrown.
understanding that sometimes they will grow again,
weeding after all is a constant process,
sometimes it’s exhausting
sometimes it’s painful.
but in the end
once all weeds have been tended to
it’s time to admire the beautiful flowers that have started to grow
and appreciate all the hard work that has gone into this garden of self
and wait for the new weeds to grow.
— Jessica Sinclair